For my bestfriend

Dear Best friend,

I know we fight a lot. We even fight at the smallest thing. I easily get mad at you and it’s pretty unfair on how hard you try to understand me and what’s going on inside my brain, while I, I push you away. (I’M SORRY)

I’m sorry if there are times that I act sweetly and girly and then immediately turn into a monster. I’m sorry if I change moods as quickly as 4 pm. I don’t want this. It’s just that I am locked in this invisible cellar that I myself build. I hid the key somewhere but whatever I do I couldn’t find the key. It’s like hidden beneath my skin and trapped between my arteries.

I may not know when or if I will ever be free from this cellar of bitterness but thank you. Thank you for staying close. For always lighting your torch whenever I lost my way, for always being available whenever I need you, for not letting me walk alone even in the broad daylight, and for being frank and honest, for always telling me that I’m beautiful even when my face breakouts are the shittiest, even I did not shower nor wore any make up.

I may not always say this because damn you, I’m not showy but you’re like the lighthouse in my dark world. Thank you for understanding that my demons do not lived under my bed, it’s inside of me. Thanks for understanding that I’m not noble, I’m not really trying to make this mean something huge. I’m just a coward who wanted to cut my strings and be free from my troubles but I appreciate you and our friendship.

Things are worse for me right now but you have been keeping my razors away from me. Thank you for not giving up on me, on our friendship.

I love you, Tom.

//For the sun also sets.