For Loki

I’ve rubbed my hands against far too many brass lamps hoping to stumble upon with magic, and well, I met you. To put it honestly, I was okay without you. But with you, it’s so much better.

Know that your flaws and imperfections are the things I admire so much in you, there’s nothing in you that I want to change, I want to love every part of you not because every part is perfect, but because every part is ‘you’. And i want you to know that my past are irrelevant now, as well as yours.

Loki, you make me remember how it feels to be human, to laugh, to hurt, to cry, to be angry, to be selfish, be jealous, be unsure, be certain. You make me feel, ALIVE.

Know that I will hold your hand when your dark days come. I will hold it even tighter when demons inside your head tries to drown and steal you away from me. I’d be the torch that will lead you whenever you get lost, I’d knock and knock on your door even when you’re body is exhausted from fighting off those evil thoughts and if you’d let me, I’d fight them with you. We will let them know that we are stronger together.

I am always doubtful about everything but I want to more than coexist with you. I want to be the woman whose breath you’ll choose to fill your lungs. Whose skin will feel like hope, or faith, or high, or perpetual orgasms. I want to be the woman you would choose over more sleep. Or someone to share your coffee with. Or half of the pizza. I want to be the woman you would make sacrifices for in a heartbeat. I want it to be me that would make your heart stutter.

Because you are the man whose mind makes me hot and bothered. I want to be that woman who can make your body respond in ways unimaginable.

Loki, allow me to make friends with your skeletons, I wouldn’t be afraid to sit with you inside your closet full of bones. I want to replace your smoke-filled lungs with my breath, inhabit your rib cage just to be closer to your heart. I want to be the woman you wouldn’t be afraid to give your heart to. I want to be the woman whose lips you long to kiss, whose lips you will never get tired of, whose mouth will be your deliverance. Whose eyes are your sanctum when everywhere else is hell. I want to be the woman whose hands you seek in the dark, I want it to be my pulse your heartbeat follows. I want mine to follow yours.

This is scary.
I am scared of your demons,
I am scared of the things time will do,
I am scared of the things in between,
I am scared of what lies ahead us, but I want you, I still want you to take me inside and let you fill with me. Let our heartbeats pulse in rhythm like lighthouses calling one another home because we are broken in many of the same ways and I like the way our bodies fit together in our broken places and I want to love you the way you should be loved.

/In love, Maggie.

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