When a guy’s girlfriend says that he takes her for granted, he will usually first respond by denying it.
He’s thinking, “But I love her more than anything. How can she even say that to me? Don’t I do nice things for her to show her how much she means to me? What is her problem?”
Yet, if a woman is saying that her man is taking her for granted, there is going to be a real reason for it.
Sure, she might be crazy and demanding way too much of her boyfriend, but in most cases it is legit and you need to pay attention, apologize, change, re-attract her and then get the relationship back on track.
Here’s the thing…
You are probably a really good guy with a good, kind, honest heart.
Maybe you always remember her birthday, Valentine’s Day and any other special holiday and dates (like the day you met, or the first time you kissed, etc.).
However, no matter how great she feels when you buy her gifts and spoil her on those days, it will mean nothing to her if the rest of the time you are behaving in a way that makes her feel unloved and unvalued.
Please consider this…
Have you been behaving in any of the following ways?
- Failing to notice her efforts to look good for you.
Women know that to attract a man and keep him interested in them, they have to look good physically.
It’s not enough for a woman to just be a nice person, because we men want to have a physically attractive woman. Just think about the women you masturbate to in porn – it’s pretty much all about the physical attraction you feel for how they look.
Men are naturally attracted to how a woman looks, so a guy will often overlook a woman’s personality flaws (e.g. her not being very intelligent, not being very nice, etc) just to get her to have sex with him and begin a relationship.
When in a relationship, a woman knows that she “caught” her man by looking good initially and if she feels lucky to be with him, she will continue to make every effort to KEEP looking good for him so that he will stay with her.
However, if her guy stops noticing the efforts she is making to remain physically attractive for him, she will begin to feel unhappy and feel like he is taking her for granted.
This applies even if your girlfriend has put on some weight in the relationship, but still makes an effort to look as pretty and appealing as she can in other ways (e.g. applying make up, wearing new clothes, etc).
So, ask yourself…
Have you being failing to notice when your girlfriend is wearing a new outfit to impress you? Do you assume that she’s just doing it for nothing, rather than hoping to get a, “Wow baby…you look hot” reaction from you?
Have you ever brushed her off when she asked you for an opinion on what to wear by saying,“I don’t care. Whatever you decide is fine with me babe.”
This may seem fine to you because you may not care too much about fashion or looking good, but it means a lot to her because she knows that a woman’s physical appearance is the most attractive thing to a man.
You might think that your girlfriend looks great no matter what she wears, but not taking the time to pay attention to things that matter to her will cause her to question whether you actually care about her at all.
It may sound so trivial to you (don’t worry, I get that. I’m a man too), but it’s important to her.
If you ignore her efforts often enough, she will feel like you are taking whatever she does to please you for granted. She will then begin to feel unhappy and may start being annoying, distant or begin to nag you about random things just to make you feel bad too.
- Putting her in second place in your life.
As you go through life, plans can and do change.
Your girlfriend would be unreasonable if she got mad and said you were taking her for granted, if you only had to suddenly change your plans with her once or twice at the last minute.
However, if it’s an ongoing habit of yours, where you make plans to do something that she really wants to do with you, only to call her up at the last minute to cancel because you have to work late, or you got caught up with some friends, or your mom wanted you to go over for dinner, etc., she will naturally begin to feel second best in your life and that the only time you make available for her, is when it’s convenient for you.
- Not pulling your weight in the relationship.
In a relationship, you need to be the man and be the more dominant one, otherwise your woman will lose respect and attraction for you over time.
Being the more dominant one doesn’t mean that your girlfriend is less important, less intelligent, doesn’t have a say in the decision-making, or has to get stuck with doing everything around the home.
If she’s always the one changing her plans to suit you, or running errands for you while you never do the same for her, she will naturally feel like you’re using her.
Her opinions, needs and wants are just as important as your own because she is a living, breathing human being who deserves respect and love just as much as you do.
Please remember that She Loves You Enough to Want You to Fix Yourself
Although it never feels nice to be accused of behaving in a selfish or inconsiderate way towards someone, rather than get defensive about it, or worse, feeling hurt and misunderstood, use her feedback to become an even better, more well rounded man than you are right now.
In a relationship, it is the man’s responsibility to maintain the love, respect and attraction that his woman feels for him, and a big part of that is making her feel the way she wants to feel ( making her feel feminine, loved, appreciated, lucky to have you, etc).
If a boyfriend stops making his girlfriend feel loved, appreciated and valued, she will become increasingly unhappy in the relationship and she will then begin to look for ways to change his behavior (e.g. threatening to break up with him, flirting with other guys to make him jealous, etc).
With you saying something like, “My girlfriend says I take her for granted,” means that somewhere along the line you stopped making her feel the way she wants to feel in a relationship, so it’s now up to you to change your approach to her and the relationship.
This is where many guys go wrong, because they think, “Why should I change who I am or what I’m doing just to suit her? If she wants to be my girlfriend she should love me exactly as I am! Isn’t that what love is?”
Guys like that assume that being “loved for who you are” means a woman should put up with a guy’s insecurities or bad behavior just because they are in a relationship.
What a lot of those guys fail to realize is that negative behaviors such as taking a woman for granted, being needy and insecure, forcing the woman to lead in the relationship, etc., are common reasons why many women break up with their boyfriend or even(fiancé or husband).
Unlike in the past where a woman had to “grin and bear it” for life, today’s women will leave a guy if he fails to make her feel the way she wants to feel in a relationship.
It might suck to hear that, but welcome to life as a modern man. You either know how to deepen a woman’s feelings of love, respect and attraction overtime or you don’t.
If you don’t, then you unfortunately have to suffer the consequences of getting broken up with over and over again throughout life, before you eventually work out how to be the type of man that a woman will stick with.
Right now, you can change any of your negative, unattractive behaviors and become an ever better man that you already are.
Not just for your girlfriend, but also for yourself.
By becoming a better, more emotionally balanced and well rounded version of yourself, you will not only make your girlfriend feel intense respect, love and attraction for you as a man, you will also improve other areas in your. You may be a good guy already, but you become an even better man.
If you want to live a successful, happy life as a man, you should always be aiming to become an emotionally stronger, wiser and more well-rounded man than you are at the time.
Guys who keep pushing forward and reaching for their true potential as a man are the guy who others look up to and who women feel attracted to and never want to leave.
So, if you’re at a point now where your girlfriend feels like you’re taking her for granted, don’t worry.
It’s not the end of the world.
You can turn the situation around by getting her to forgive your mistaken approach and then feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you as a man.
When she does that, she will naturally begin to reconnect with the love that she once felt for you and your relationship will be back on track.